As December drew to a close, I had thoughts of doing a column on prognostication — predicting what the new year would bring. Unfortunately, my psychic ability is as non-existent as a Mother Theresa break-dancing manual. (My extremely rich bookie, Vito “Cement Shoes” Uzi, could — but wouldn’t — attest to the lack of accuracy in my crystal-ball, fortune-telling skills.)
One of my soothsaying hunches, however, was that the emergence of 3-D television would fall flat — pun unintended. It never caught on for any length of time in the past and I can’t see how a society, which usually can’t find the remote control, would be enamored with the added burden of looking for misplaced eye-wear needed to facilitate the 3-D process.
I considered it merely a novelty act with the staying power of a Trent Edwards-at-quarterback scenario just waiting to get sacked — pun unintended. The fact is, I questioned the need for 3-D until I heard that Donald Trump was considering a run for the presidency.
It (3-D) now seemed more plausible when I realized that we’d be seeing even more of the Donald. With only two dimensions, there was not enough room to fit in Trump’s hair, his bravado and massive ego. Each needed its own dimension. And thus, something had to give — and only Donald could necessitate (and beget) pushing a third dimension onto a two-dimensional surface.
But seriously, can you imagine a President Trump? What quotes would he immortalize? Possibly something like:
“We choose to go to the moon in this decade because we need to build more golf courses.”
“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for me.”
“Live from New York, it’s the new White House.”
It’s hard to understand why a guy with so much money — who actually showcases his dictatorial style of leadership on a popular television program — would want to take a job that necessitates the approval of an opposing philosophical mind-set to get things done.
Now surrounded by yes-men, why would he want to forfeit that all-powerful position for a job that allows a dissenting voice to bring his ideas to a screeching halt?
“Not so fast, my friend” is something Trump is unaccustomed to hearing.
He can’t tell senators, “The only thing you have to fear, is you’re fired.” That ain’t gonna work.
Ego! That’s the answer. And ergo, the need for a third dimension — because ... it’s coming your way.
It wouldn’t be the first time a businessman decided to run for office. Erie County Executive Chris Collins came from the private sector. How’s that working out? Is he cutting the mustard, along with everything else? Pun intended.
And, for now, that’s the way it looks from the Valley.
Contact Tom Valley at Tvalley@rochester.rr.com.
Tom Valley
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Tom Valley is a Medina resident. His column appears every Thursday. Contact him at tvalley@rochester.rr.com.
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