Whether or not you’ve noticed, this column has not been in the paper (or online) over the last few weeks. I took some time off — as I did last year — to vacation on the St. Lawrence River. There’s also another reason as to why it hasn’t appeared, but I’ll get into that later in the column.
Actually, the word “vacation” is misleading. One would expect relaxation to come into play when spending time on the river. But downtime, although it exists, is rare; full bore “kicking-back” is not standard-operating-procedure at our place in the north country. No sir, not at the “Labor Camp.”
But we’ve grown accustom to that … somewhat. We are still under the illusion that just possibly it won’t be as tough, it won’t be as laborious this time. There’s always that hope that we’ll have a little more free time each trip.
There’s no glamorizing it: The work is not a labor of love. As a matter of fact, it’s not even a labor of like. It’s just that the rare moments of respite that we are able to procure are precious. The serene glory of a sunset; the meditative sound of water slapping the shore. These are the things that make cleaning a septic tank by hand (almost) worth it.
After only three days there, we got hit with a storm that, according to year-round residents, was of proportions that they’d not seen in decades. Wonderful! We like being a part of history. Which we almost were — history — during a vicious lightning storm.
Due to the force of the hail and rain, an unused stove-pipe that protrudes about four inches from the ceiling started to leak. The pipe has been sealed off at both ends (below the ceiling and above the roof ). It’s never known to have leaked in the past.
No problem for Mr. Fix-it. As the storm raged, I grabbed man’s best friend and went to work. No, I didn’t stick the dog in the pipe. I used duct tape.
I spent the next 45 minutes carefully wrapping that sucker until the water no longer dripped. It wasn’t pretty, but I was looking for results, not a spread in a home-décor magazine. I used at least 3/4 of a roll. My smug sense of accomplishment was short-lived.
“Are you serious?” my wife asked. “That’s not going to work.”
“Apparently you haven’t noticed that not one drip has slipped by in the last five minutes.”
“Really?” she countered. “Apparently you haven’t noticed it stopped raining 30 minutes ago.”
“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
“And did you know what you were doing last night when I watched you for 20 minutes as you tried to blow out that solar candle on the picnic table?”
“You saw that, huh?”
“Yes. And I’m telling you that the mess you made with the duct tape is not going to last. It’s going to fall off and cause even more damage.”
“Fat chance!”
And so with the story told, I’ll finish with this little tidbit. The other reason this column hasn’t been in the paper? My laptop computer got ruined. I had no way to write it. It got fried as water gushed down atop the thing as it sat on a TV tray at the camp when … ah … the duct tape let loose.
And that’s the way it looks from the Valley.
Contact Tom Valley at Tvalley@rochester.rr.com.
Tom Valley
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Tom Valley is a Medina resident. His column appears every Thursday. Contact him at tvalley@rochester.rr.com.
VALLEY: Write place at the wrong time
- Tom Valley
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FROM THE VALLEY: Soap operas: Before and under siege
It’s been announced that two long-time running soap operas have been canceled and will cease production. The classics “All My Children” and “One Life to Live” will air their final shows in September and January, respectively. Both serials ventured into areas never seen before on daytime television.
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FROM THE VALLEY: Music award shows need a swan song
Seriously, can it get any more narcissistic than the music industry’s penchant for self-congratulatory award shows?
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FROM THE VALLEY: Wardrobe and brain malfunctions
It’s easy to separate those politicians who are in the game for self-promotion versus those who are truly altruistic and want to serve for the betterment of society. You simply lump them all together because there seems to be none of the latter.
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FROM THE VALLEY: The whole unholy and holy truth
I get the urge to play prosecutor and ask questions. I’d like a shot at eliminating the extraneous, circumventing and sometimes contradictory information I’m being forced to accept.
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FROM THE VALLEY: A tale of two pities
Ever since he was young, he knew that his time would come. The time when he’d be the center of attention. He’d heard the stories of how some of the others from the area had grown up to hit the big time. Now it was his turn — this was the year he’d become a star — and he was ready.
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FROM THE VALLEY: It’s in the Trump cards
As December drew to a close, I had thoughts of doing a column on prognostication — predicting what the new year would bring. Unfortunately, my psychic ability is as non-existent as a Mother Theresa break-dancing manual.
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FROM THE VALLEY: The search for the perfect gift
My wife and I took the opportunity to do a little Christmas shopping the day before Thanksgiving. We thought by going then, we’d beat the Black Friday rush.
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VALLEY: Molly is a special little girl
I was talking to my neighbor, Sue, the other day and she told me that they were having a benefit spaghetti dinner for their granddaughter, Molly.
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VALLEY: Write place at the wrong time
Whether or not you’ve noticed, this column has not been in the paper (or online) over the last few weeks. I took some time off — as I did last year — to vacation on the St. Lawrence River.
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FROM THE VALLEY: Maggie’s first trip to the river
The old saying is that there are two sides to every story. Most likely, you’ve heard that before. In today’s column, I’ll demonstrate just how accurate that adage really is.
- More Tom Valley Headlines
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