Ah the simpler times when John, Paul, George and Ringo could lampoon someone with borrowed lyrics and a catchy beat. Anyone born after 1960 can hum the tune just from this one headline. The Beatles were great lyric writers but this wasn’t one of their originals. This song was covered from a Motown artist named Barrett Strong.

But let’s not let little details distract us in this story. It’s a fairly damning song no matter who wrote it or sings it, and it’s the modus operandi of politics today. Just give me money — that’s all I want.

In January of this year the Supreme Court ruled that there could be no restrictions on corporate campaign donations, and thus ushered in a new era — at least in the modern age of when any of us have been alive — of campaign elections; Unlimited money.

We’ve been drifting towards unlimited money in political campaigns for years, so the Supreme Court really just made this an official pronouncement. But now you can literally have the Senator from Enron or the Congressman from Archer-Daniels Midland Corporation. “Anyone against bringing back DDT for our apple crops? It’s incredibly efficient and might reduce the cost of apples. OK then, DDT is back.” That’s about how legislative debates could occur once corporations officially can buy legislative seats.

Locally we should start a contest predicting where we’d say our own local representatives would be from, but for the most part we know the answer would be something close to “legislator from AES” right? I mean, you can’t deny a huge tax break to a corporation that cannot leave and promises to create no jobs right? Could never happen. Ugh.

This isn’t rocket science — everything is right out in the open if we choose to look.

But what if you’re a politician, you hang out the “for sale sign” and nobody wants to buy you? Can you even imagine a politician who could now legally take as much campaign money as possible and nobody wants to buy them off?

That might be where the Democrats in Albany are finding themselves lately. They have begun to publicly ask union officials to hand over wads of cash for bogus organization titles which would grant them special privileged access to state government. I kid you not.

This week state Sen. Jeff Klein from the Bronx began offering labor leaders “chairmanships” on a specially created “Labor Advisory Council.” For $50,000, you can have the unique opportunity to advise Democrats on the structure and focus of state government. You will have special access to Senate leadership. You, my friend, will be somebody.

If $50,000 is too rich for your blood — but since all this money comes from rank-and-file membership dues could anything be too rich for the Union-leaders blood? — You can join a second-tier organization level and it will only cost you $25,000. Since any of this “access” is a mirage to begin with, what would a second-tier mirage of access be?

People still read “union leader” and think auto worker. The reality is “union leader” is much more likely to mean school and hospital unions in New York state. Could it just be coincidence that the same week that Sen. Klein chose to ask unions to pay off Democrats to save union jobs, other Democrats sent out press releases urging rank-and-file teachers union members to give up their scheduled pay raises? Politics is the art of deception; the art of scare tactics and magic. By ratcheting up the fear factor within the union rank-and-file about their job or pay increase you stand a better chance at getting some of those $50,000 contributions.

Don’t kid yourself — there is political Darwinism. The evolution of the politician has been going on for years. Coordination between scaring teachers about their jobs, scaring parents about their teachers and asking for a $50,000 “access fee” all at the same time is now part of our corrupt political culture. It’s second nature; as simple as shedding gills and developing lungs. It didn’t happen overnight and won’t be eliminated overnight. And it most certainly won’t be eliminated by shouting at each other.

The Beatles did publish an angry song about taxes — lampooning the government for taking all their money. I don’t think they could have ever imagined that song — “Taxman” — being overshadowed by the greed of politicians at the personal level. At least when a politician raises your taxes, the money is going to fund government programs. When “access fees” are created, it’s for personal enrichment.

Tom Christy is founder of FAIR Government, a foundation dealing with local government issues. Visit www.fair-government.org. Contact him at aim1986@mac.com.