I made a New Year’s resolution to keep my desk clean. So far, the desk is actually organized and I have the necessary materials to get the rest of it under control. But my office is a mess. I was just looking around at the framed pictures of old Lockport I have on my walls, and some choice drive-in theater pictures, and they have cobwebs on them. Then I looked up at the ceiling and saw more cobwebs. Obviously, my resolution to keep my desk clean was not comprehensive enough. In the business world, they call that bad planning. I call it not paying attention to detail.
Have you ever done that? I know some of you have done it. You make the promise to yourself to lose weight, but you neglect to address the issue of your entire wardrobe that went out of fashion when Nixon was still working in Congress. Seriously dude, bell bottoms and leisure suits are not coming back.
Then there is the dedication you put into keeping your hair neat and trim but refuse to get rid of the mutton-chops that are attached to the side of your face. I missed the memo about long sideburns making a comeback. I am kind of glad I missed that particular memo. I have nothing against long facial hair; not at all. I just think that if you are not in the Doobie Brothers, or you are not Lemmy, then you should not be allowed to have mutton-chops. Those weird short-hair L-shaped sideburns are pretty bad too. If you are going to go the trouble of growing sideburns, then you should finish the job and grow a full beard.
Bell-bottoms, leisure suits, mutton-chops, Doobie Brothers, Nixon, Lemmy — is anyone under the age of 35 understanding any of this? Eh, probably not. Let’s just say that, when it comes to the promises we make to ourselves, we sometimes fail to plan them out properly.
There is a famous short story called “The Monkey’s Paw” that teaches a great lesson about planning. Allow me to elaborate. The story is about a monkey’s paw talisman that grants three wishes. However, every wish has a consequence, and if you don’t think first, you could be in big trouble.
The couple that finds the monkey’s paw does what everyone would do when they find a magic wishing thing: They wish for money. The next day, their son is killed in an industrial accident and the couple gets his life insurance in the amount that they had wished for. Pretty grim. It gets worse.
The wife can’t stand it, so she insists that the husband use the monkey’s paw to wish their son back to life. The husband kind of has a clue as to what is going on, so he says he would rather not. The wife insists again, so the husband makes the wish.
The next morning, there is a knock at the door. The wife, still stricken with grief, and anxious because she knows it is her son at the door, is having a difficult time unlocking the door. The husband starts to remember the condition their son was in when he died because the husband had to go identify the body for the authorities. The body was horribly mangled, and the husband could not allow his wife to see their son in that condition. He used the third wish to put the son at rest, and the knocking stopped.
The story really doesn’t go into any detail on how much the wife beat the husband with the monkey’s paw after he made the third and final wish, but I am sure it was pretty painful.
The story is supposed to be a lesson on how trying to mess with fate can be dangerous. But I have always seen it as a warning on the dangers of not planning and not looking at the big picture.
When you make plans, sit down and think it out first. Consider the potential domino effect of making those major home improvements or getting that new car. Just remember that for every good, there is a bad. For every person who loses 150 pounds, there is a huge wardrobe bill waiting to happen. For every major home improvement job there is a tax assessor just waiting to show up at your door.
I am not saying that people should not make plans to better themselves. I am saying that when you do make those plans, think carefully. Remember the lessons taught to us by Lemmy’s monkey’s paw.
George N. Root III is a Lockport resident. His column appears every Wednesday. He can be reached at georgeroot@verizon.net.
George Root
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George N. Root III is a Lockport resident. His column appears every Wednesday. Contact him at georgeroot@verizon.net.
ROOT: Tale of the Monkey’s Paw
- George Root
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ROOT: We should drop out of Electoral College
I find it hard to believe that, in this day and age of the Internet and message texting on every phone, that we are still sticking to the Electoral College and the misguided notion that the people in Congress work for us.
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ROOT: The wheels have started turning
As the bike messenger careened down the middle of the sidewalk, he started to run down women, children and little yip dogs on long leashes. Oh, it was awful. At that moment, DenDekker knew what he had to do. He would force every bicycle bought in New York state to be registered for an initial fee of $25 and then a fee of $5 a year after that.
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ROOT: The watchful eye of the Internet
Attention politicians and famous people: The world is watching you.
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ROOT: The Clint Eastwood Factor
I post a Clint Eastwood quote on my Facebook page every day. Everyone asks me why.
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ROOT: Fine, I’ll give my 2 cents
Maybe the high school needs $6 million more to make it just right. Maybe that $6 million should be spent on athletics. Maybe not.
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ROOT: Tale of the Monkey’s Paw
I made a New Year’s resolution to keep my desk clean. So far, the desk is actually organized and I have the necessary materials to get the rest of it under control. But my office is a mess
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ROOT: Thank you, Tom Golisano?
Will they sell? Won’t they sell? The Buffalo Sabres have been on the market since B. Thomas Golisano first realized that the team was worth more than he paid for it.
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Surely you can't be serious
was all set to write my first of four Christmas column this week, and then it happened. When it happened, I was instantly transported back to the first time I saw the movie “Airplane!”
It was released in 1980, and I was visiting a friend in Seattle. My friend said, “Hey, let’s go see this new airplane movie they have out.” I asked what it was called and he said, “Airplane!” So, I went. I never laughed so hard in my life. Some of the jokes went over my head at first. It wasn’t until I was 10 years older that I understood many of the more adult jokes in the movie. -
The roof! The roof!
They say the best way to get through a project is to picture the results. As I sit here looking at my family room, I can see the new paint on the walls and the new hardwood floor installed. I can see the reflections of the flames from the fireplace kissing the hardwood and making it look awesome. I can see new furniture in the fireplace room and imagine a winter of relaxing comfort.
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ROOT: Home improvement motivation
Most of the things the wife and I want to do to our home require a lot of work. Ripping up rugs, removing old wallpaper, putting up a coat of paint or taking down the lousy crown molding job I did 10 years ago cost little or no money, but they require a lot of effort and, well, there is a football game on television.
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