BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH: Barker mom is a survivor

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October 30, 2009

Anonymous The Lockport Union-Sun %26 Journal Fri Oct 30, 2009, 02:13 AM EDT

BY JULIE OBERMILLER

newsroom@lockportjournal.com

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and a time when pink ribbons are everywhere and the focus is on the disease that affects women each year.

The American Cancer Society estimates that there will be 192,370 new breast cancer diagnoses and 40,170 deaths in 2009. As the month draws to a close, the fight continues to help women be proactive about their breast health.

Most women don’t think of getting breast cancer. Marlene Wolfe of Barker didn’t. Now 68, she remembers finding a breast lump in her early 40s.

“I told my doctor, who scheduled a mammogram, and it turned out to be a fibroid lump. He removed it and I began having a mammogram every year,” she said. “Over the years, there were a few more fibroid lumps but nothing alarming, and I admit I grew complacent.”

Wolfe’s maternal grandmother had died of breast cancer in her early 60s, and the youngest daughter, Wolfe’s aunt, had a breast removed at age 70 and lived 25 more years. Wolfe’s father died of pancreatic cancer.

After working for the U.S. Postal Service for 30 years, retiring as postmistress of Appleton in 2005, Wolfe was free to travel with husband Woody, to visit the three Wolfe daughters living around the world.

Heather Wolfe Luoma, retired Navy husband Paul and children Kaitlyn and Evan live in Hendrum, Minn.

Holliegh Wolfe Utley and husband Troy are career members of the Coast Guard and they, with daughter Samantha, were recently transferred to Petaluma, Calif.

Heidi Wolfe Dergel and husband René are living in Erlanger, Germany, and awaiting the birth of their first child. A nuclear engineer transferred from North Carolina to Germany, Heidi calls her mother every day to chat, knowing that the mother-daughter bond is precious. Wolfe says: “I talk to my other girls four or five times a week, but Heidi every day. She’s my youngest and my watchdog since the cancer. She had me write down every step of the journey, and looking back, it all seems like a blur.”

In November 2008, Wolfe went to the Elizabeth Wendy Logan Breast Cancer Center in Rochester to get her annual mammogram out of the way, already packed for a visit to Minnesota for Heather’s 40th birthday. After the test, the doctor came to the waiting room to say he found something unusual and he wanted to do a biopsy and a sonogram right then. Convinced it was just another benign fibroid lump, Wolfe and sister Claire left for Minnesota two days later. Just as she arrived at her daughter’s home, a cell phone call shattered her world. The doctor said the lump was cancerous and it needed to be removed.

Wolfe remembers calling her husband back in Barker to give him the news. The normally stoic Woody would become her rock through all that came next. When the extended visit with their daughter was over, he met his wife at the airport with a huge bouquet of flowers ordered by daughter Heidi. The sight of a big, burley man presenting flowers in welcome got airport passengers clapping and cheering. The welcome home was warm but filled with uncertainty. The battle was yet to begin.

Almost immediately after diagnosis, friends urged Wolfe to make sure she selected doctors and treatments that were covered by her insurance. The surgeon she was originally referred to by the clinic did not accept her plan and she heeded her daughter’s advice to go to Roswell Park Cancer Institute. “They told me they would take me regardless of my insurance or what I could pay. Roswell has been the most amazing support and source of reassurance,” Wolfe said. “I met the surgeons before Christmas and got to enjoy the holidays before the surgery. Every day should be celebrated with laughter and joy, and we did just that.”

All three daughters and grandchildren flew in on Christmas Eve to surprise the Wolfes in their bed. “I opened my eyes and thought I was dreaming, and little Evan grabbed my hand and said ‘It’s no dream Grandma, we’re really here.’ It gave me strength I never knew I had,” said Wolfe tearfully.

The surgery to remove the lump came on Jan. 13 of this year. At the check-up a week later, she was told that the pathologist wanted a larger clear margin around the area and needed to take some more tissue after the first wound healed. On Feb. 17, they cut out more tissue, were satisfied it was clear, and a month of healing began. “Then it was time for radiation.” Five days a week from March 30 to May 6, Wolfe made the trip from Barker to Roswell, husband, sister and close friends sharing the long rides. “I never had pain from the cancer, just the surgery, and I came through the radiation with limited problems, so I am blessed. On June 25, my doctor told me that I didn’t need him or his crew anymore, unless there was a recurrence,” she said. “I chose to participate in a long-term study that monitors breast cancer survivors every step of the way, and Roswell keeps tabs on my moods, health, coping and other issues. It’s very important statistical information that will help future generations of mothers and daughters prevent or cope with breast cancer.”

Wolfe has been a member of the Barker Soda Jerks Relay For Life team since its inception in 2001, working to raise funds for the American Cancer Society. They are currently collecting a mile of bras to raise awareness and funds for cancer research. She never dreamed she would need those services, herself, or that she would become one of the survivors walking the first lap at the Relay For Life in Lockport. Pinned to her purse is a “Feel Your Boobies” button, part of a campaign to get women to do self-exams. “I get asked countless times about that button and it gives me the opportunity to encourage women to be vigilant about their health. Annual PAP smears and mammograms are a must.”

If there’s any other advice she would give those who will hear the dreaded diagnosis of cancer, it’s this. “Give every one of your friends and family a big hug. They are the ones who will be by your side through the journey, the ones who will share the anxiety, fear and uncertainty. I know for sure I would not have been able to keep smiling through all this if not for my amazing friends, sister and family. It’s important that you smile and welcome in all the hugs, prayers and help you can hold.”

As the calendar page turns to November, the battle to improve prevention, detection and treatment does not slow down. No one ever expects to hear the diagnosis but, statistically, one in eight in women will. Wolfe isn’t letting it slow her down. She is one of 2 1/2 million breast cancer survivors sharing their story. On Nov. 4, she is scheduled for her six-month cancer checkup. The next day, she leaves for a trip to Germany for a few weeks and then on to Minnesota and California, all the while planning a February visit to the soon-to-be-born grandson in Germany.

“You can’t foresee the bumps in life’s road, but you can’t let them stop you if you trip over one. Pick yourself up, put on a smile and continue your journey as though you were blessed,” Wolfe said.

For more information on breast cancer visit www.cancer.org For information on the local “Mammary Mile” project go to www.mammarymilehookup.wordpress.com.

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