FROM THE VALLEY: Golf defense due to offensive shots

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Tom Valley

October 22, 2009

Anonymous The Lockport Union-Sun %26 Journal Thu Oct 22, 2009, 12:35 AM EDT

I don’t know why, but there are times when I feel as though I have to defend myself when I mention that I like golf. Golf is different than other sports mainly because of the participation factor. The most activity a fan of football or baseball gets is (usually) passing the Doritos. Unfortunately, some of those who have no interest in golf find it imperative, for some reason or another, to let you know of their disdain for the game.

The complainant invariably mentions “chasing a little white ball around.” To which I respond, “So you’d be OK with it if the ball was bigger and a different color?”

It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but those who seem most repulsed, most vocal about the game are usually those who have played maybe once, twice or, as is most often the case, not at all. They have no platform from which they pontificate — but that doesn’t stop them from explaining in detail what they know nothing about. It’s like you, never having tasted an apple, telling someone else what it tastes like and why you don’t like it.

Golf is a passion. Try to explain passion and then you’re on the right track.

Most golfers, admittedly, have a love-hate relationship with the game. But that’s the intoxication that hooks and fuels the golfer’s addiction. After a bad round, a common refrain often heard is “I detest this game.” It’s an enigmatic cry, considering the fact that it’s followed by a smile and “same time tomorrow?”

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez recently called golfers “elitists and lazy.” Aside from the fact that Hugie been known to call people names in the past — I refer you to “George W. Bush is the devil” — his statement is actually contradictory. To me, an elitist is usually someone who’s worked his or her tail off to get to that status. The negative stereotype of a successful individual is, more often than not, rooted in jealousy. And not only wrong, but unjustified.

However, it’s not like you have to be filthy rich to golf — I offer myself as a prime example — but you won’t find “lazy” people on the course. That’s because, quite simply, neither the country nor the state has a system in place that offers free golf, such as the governmental programs for the needy that these slothful scoundrels tend to flock to and abuse.

The people that I see on the course are folks who have worked hard their whole lives to attain the privileges that are deserving of their efforts. Golf doesn’t usually come free. If you’re a golfer, you’ve earned the right to play.

Thus, Chavez’s analysis doesn’t fly with me. It’s totally inaccurate and I offer this advice to him: Hugo, fly a kite. And that’s free!

The devil made me say that.

And, “fore” now, that’s the way it looks from the Valley.

Contact Tom Valley at Tvalley@rochester.rr.com.

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