DRINKWALTER: Celebrity shows ... now that’s entertaining

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April 28, 2008

Anonymous The Lockport Union-Sun %26 Journal Mon Apr 28, 2008, 10:25 AM EDT

Oops I did it again! I got sucked into watching one of those entertainment shows just after the evening news. You know the “celebrity tell alls” on Channel 2 and Channel 4. You sit there mindlessly glued to the TV set and before you realize it, 30 minutes have gone by and another 30 minutes of too much information is chiming in behind it. It looks like even the entertainment shows are finding their way to life beyond Brittany, as difficult as it may be.

I noticed Lara Spencer, one of the hosts of Entertainment Tonight, now sports a new femme fatale, pouty girl look that was never part of her demure when she used to host Antique Road Show. Ah — the Hollywood trappings.

Maybe it’s my own vulnerability to the aging process, but lately I keep hearing about famous actresses approaching or turning 50. Funny thing is, I believe many have already been there, done that once or twice.

For example, I recall reading about Jamie Lee Curtis allowing her hair to go grey upon approaching 50 as kind of a rebellious, “this is the real me, take it or leave it” kind of attitude. The problem is, as I recall she has been at least three years older than me for years. How did she get younger than me? Madonna is turning 50 this year, but that does sound about right.

Anyway, on the entertainment show that dubiously grabbed me that night, they showed a photograph of Heather Locklear standing there in a bikini, supposedly at age 47. I don’t think there is anything entertaining about a picture of a thin, middle-aged woman with no muscle tone. I read once that in order to lose the middle-aged belly you have to be at least five pounds underweight. But let’s face it, any starving nation could post similar photos.

Apparently, while the rest of our middle-aged faces and bodies are drooping as fast as our retirement accounts, time can stand still or move backwards for Hollywood stars.

I remember watching a talk show in the late 1990s where Linda Evans and Yanni, her little beau at the time, were guest stars. She was then in her mid-50s and Yanni was about 10 years her junior. Although she looked great for her age, I remember noticing how old her hands looked.

Wrinkled hands and necks are dead give-aways. Heck, Nora Ephram wrote an entire book (stemming from her crinkly middle-aged neck) titled, “I Feel Bad About My Neck.” I feel her pain, but was it worth an entire book?

Now there’s a new wrinkle on the age dilemma. We are hearing that age 50 is the new 30. (I’ll believe that when I can wake up in the morning as limber as I was 20 years ago.)

By now, Demi Moore is pushing 50 years old. She is truly living out the 50 is the new 30 adage being married to Ashton Kutcher. He is around 30 years old.

There has been a lot of talk about single middle-aged women that are on the prowl for younger men. They are referred to as “Cougars.” I caught a silly segment on “Cougars” on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago when I woke in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back to sleep. (Yes, 11:30 is the “middle of the night” for this tamed cat.)

So, which is it? OK to get older and flaunt your age and experience or better to step back in time and tell everyone you are younger than you are?

Hey, I think for my next birthday I’ll go Hollywood style. Then if anyone asks, I’ll say I’m just turning 43. Yep, that’s the ticket! (Now that would be entertaining.)

Deb Drinkwalter is a Lockport resident. Her column appears every Sunday. Send comments to d.drinkwalter@yahoo.com.

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