GEORGE ROOT: A loss is a loss

Jon Gruden said he wanted to run down to the field and kiss Tom Brady. Ron Jaworski sounded nearly orgasmic when he was breaking down Tom Brady’s throwing motion. What is it about Tom Brady that turns otherwise gruff football guys into screaming little girls? Well, whatever. Dreamboat was back as quarterback of the Patriots and he pulled another win out of his perfectly shaped behind. Oh wow, did I just really write that? My apologies to the Coach and Jaws then, I guess.

In all seriousness, I do not want to talk about the fact that our savior TO dropped the first pass thrown to him that could have extended a drive early in the game. I would rather not discuss Bills’ offensive lineman Demetrius Bell and his inability to understand the most basic rules of football. I would rather discuss the clinic the Bills put on in the final 30 seconds of the game that showed why the Buffalo Bills are still the masters at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Dreamboat had just led the Pats to their second touchdown of the fourth quarter to take the lead by one point. The game was completely owned by the Patriots for the first three quarters of the game, except on the scoreboard where it really counts. Going into the fourth quarter it was 24 to 10 in favor of the Bills, and every Bills fan knew trouble was on the horizon.

The Bills defense that is famous for bending but not breaking for years as they backed up an offense that was famous for being terrible finally broke. Dreamboat finally punched a critical touchdown through, but the Bills’ defense turned away the two-point conversion. Hope still lingered, but seasoned Bills fans still knew better. At that point, the clinic began.

I didn’t think there was any way that Leodis “McLovin’” McKelvin would try and run that kickoff out of the endzone. “So just take the knee” I thought to myself. The “oh NO!!!” button went off when McLovin’ ran it out of the endzone. “There’s no one to block for you McLovin’!” I shouted in my mind because my wife was asleep next to me and I didn’t want to wake her up. The ‘hands team’ was out there for the Bills and the ‘hands team’ ain’t much for blocking. By the way, the wife was awake and watching the game. I knew this because when McLovin’ took off out of the endzone she started yelling in her outside voice that was sure to wake up the boy, and the neighbors. When my wife yells at the Bills or the Sabres, I know they hear it.

Then McLovin’ fumbled. Argh! The Bills’ defense was tired. That had a right to be tired. Dreamboat had dragged them up and down the field in the second half for what seemed like an eternity. The Patriots were too much for the Bills and soon it was 25 to 24 Patriots.

Then the real clinic began. Then the Bills showed why Bills fans always abandon all hope when the season starts. For some reason, with 30 seconds left and only two timeouts to go, Trent “Dude” Edwards called a timeout before he even took a snap. What?!?!?! Are you serious?!?! You guys couldn’t have worked the details out before you hit the field? No, they couldn’t.

A long pass to TO and the Bills were almost in business. Take the last time out and let’s talk it over. All the offensive line had to do was keep Dude on his feet and he will find someone to get the ball to. Nope. Down went Dude, and down went the Bills.

My wife was screaming at the television in the last seconds of the game as the Bills played catch with each other and the Patriots were laughing too hard to stop them. Once the Patriots got a hold of themselves they ended the game. My wife is a true Bills fan. She thought the Bills had a chance. I feel bad for her and all of the other true Bills fans that are stuck with this team. I am a Bills fan as well. But, being a cynic and a Bills fan can have its advantages.

George N. Root III is a Lockport resident. His columns appear every Wednesday. Send comments to georgeroot@verizon.net.