Lockport Union-Sun & Journal Online

August 16, 2009

MARREN: Struggling with forgiveness


Forgiveness is a tricky word or action or attribute.

Neither asking for it nor granting it is ever easy. If you are a Christian person, as I am, forgiveness is supposed to come after some contrition, some sorrow for your sins.

Outside religion, for some, it may mean a simple “I’m sorry.” In the legal sense, it typically requires some sort of financial penalty, confinement or both, and even then you may still need the “I’m sorry” or contrition before anyone outside the metal bars gives you forgiveness.

There’s a great debate over forgiveness with the Michael Vick situation this past week.

Vick, the convicted dog killer who now has joined the Philadelphia Eagles, has served his time, asked for forgiveness from the animal humane societies (allegedly) and certainly the National Football League, but for what? Is he asking for forgiveness so he can go back to making more than $1 million per year to play football? Is he asking for forgiveness because the NFL said he had to?

Or is he asking for forgiveness because he really is sorry?

Being the good Catholic boy that I am, and understanding that it’s best to offer forgiveness when someone screws up and shows sorrow, I’m still having a hard time buying what Vick is selling.

I don’t think he’s sorry. I don’t think he’s contrite. I think what he did is beyond despicable and find it hard to offer this guy any forgiveness.

I’m sick of people saying he “did his time.” He did, and even that was trimmed down from what it should have been, but now he’s back to earning millions. How many of us, in our day-to-day jobs, could take part in such a heinous crime and go back to our careers in less than two years? I can’t fault Vick for this. The NFL, in its forgiving nature, made it possible for him to come back. I don’t agree with that.

If he wanted to find work, he should have found something other than football. He would have gotten a lot more respect from me if he signed up to speak out against animal violence.

Now, he’s not looking for forgiveness from Tim Marren, he’s sought forgiveness from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and got it. Now seeks forgiveness from the fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. Unfortunately, in sports, we easily forgive and forget if these players help our teams win. So forgiveness may come easily in Philadelphia — even if it is the place that booed Santa Claus.

That’s because his goal was to play football again.

His goal, out of prison, was not to speak out against the type of behavior he partook in and eke out the rest of his life in some other, less high-profile profession. He wanted back in the NFL, first and foremost.

His priorities have not changed. He has always been about Michael Vick first. This isn’t a “second chance” for this guy. He has been involved with drugs, including failing a drug test while out on bail, has given a woman herpes without revealing that he had the disease, has checked into clinics using the alias Ron Mexico, has flipped off fans in 2006 and was fined by the NFL.

For those handing out “chances,” you’re giving Vick at least his fourth or fifth. He doesn’t deserve another chance.

Forgiveness: Do we give it out too easily because this is America and if you serve your time, you’re forgiven? Do we give it out too easily because someone holds a press conference and looks somewhat remorseful? Do we offer forgiveness because our religion says so?

When I come home to my dog each night, I can’t even imagine the brutality Vick once put his dogs through. Thinking of the torture makes me sick to my stomach.

You hear stories of families forgiving those that caused harm or the death of a loved one. I give those people credit. It can’t be easy to stare some evil person in the eyes and forgive them for what they’ve done.

The same goes for Vick.

I hope I’m wrong and he has learned his lesson. Maybe he deserves forgiveness from those willing to give it. I have a feeling this isn’t the last we’ve seen of Vick being on the wrong side of the law.

Forgiveness also takes time. I’m not ready to forgive him. I’m probably not alone.

Tim Marren is the managing editor of the Lockport Union-Sun & Journal. Contact him at Tim.Marren@lockportjournal.com or 439-9222.