Lockport Union-Sun & Journal — I don’t know about you, but I’m sold. Billy Ray Cyrus is endorsing Obama. Wow! Attention K—Mart shoppers: the “Achy Breaky Heart,” once mullet—wearing crooner has thrown his political clout into the Democratic presidential—candidate’s corner. Come on, admit it: the game’s over! (Unless, of course, someone of equal stature comes out of the Republican woodwork to even the score. Someone like Moe or Larry of the Three Stooges.)
File that under: Billy Ray who?
Let’s shift gears.
Chan Gailey, head coach of the woeful Buffalo Bills, has stated – as of this writing — that he doesn’t know what the deal is with the medical “procedure” performed on his underachieving defensive end Mario Williams. He didn’t know when the procedure was done, who recommended it or even what the specifics of the injury were.
Doesn’t it seem odd that the head coach — of an integral and heavily relied upon player (not to mention the highest paid defensive player in the league) — isn’t on top of such critical information? Wouldn’t you want to know exactly what was going on since it is directly related to the success of your team? (And your future.)
File that under: Duh!
Or maybe Chan is covering up — covering up the way he did for Ryan Fitzpatrick last year when the signal—caller’s play slipped to several clicks below crap. Remember when he (Fitzpatrick) looked like he had no more business on the field than Yanni? Didn’t you feel a lot better at the end of the season when it was revealed that he had played hurt? Yeah, right.
All the emotions from those heartbreaking losses simply dissipated when it was revealed that Ryan wasn’t up to par. Isn’t it great that a C—plus quarterback, at best — when he’s healthy — is still left in the game to run the show after he breaks his ribs? It says a lot about plan B.
File that under: How much do they pay the backup quarterbacks?
While we’re talking about the Bills, it seems to me that the lack of accountability by this team could be directly related to the fact that the person who signs their checks is no longer physically able to walk into the locker room and look them in the eyes the way he once did – especially, after an abysmal performance. The fire that once raged in Ralph Wilson’s belly has been diminished by time. (Maybe, it’s not hip to admit it, but I respect Mr. Wilson, for who he is and what he’s done.)
Mario Williams wouldn’t roll over game after game if he had to face the glare of a man who would rightfully expect him to play — or at least, try to play — like he was worth the $100 million he (Ralph) put in his (Williams) pocket.
Another thing, and I don’t mean to sound offensive, I can’t see how anyone can be motivated (or pressured) by someone — like a coach, for instance — who says “Shucks, y’all gotta just start playin’ better – gowl dang—it.”
File that under: Can you make at least one tackle a game, y’all?
Another topic: The World Series.
Is it just me or has anyone else noticed – I’ll try to be tactful here – how many obese and sloppy looking players there are on the baseball field nowadays? In times past, some of these guys would be considered too plump to play in a softball beer—league. When did they start luring sumo—wrestlers to play the infield? What in the name of fat Elvis happened to conditioning and grooming? Self—respect and discipline? Wouldn’t they be able to perform (even) better ... IF they were in shape? But, as usual, I’m probably just old fashioned.
File that under: A big “if” and an even bigger “butt.”
That, my friends, is the way it looks from the Valley.Tom Valley is a Medina resident. His column appears every Thursday. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.